I’d prefer a war on weird facial hair

• Found in East London’s trendy Shoreditch, where they would be better off waging war on stupid facial hair (only as sported by men, I hasten to add – the area hasn’t yet got so avant-garde that women are rocking the “weird beard” look). In fact a war on art would cull far fewer practitioners than a decade ago, as the area has got so expensive they’ve mainly headed out further east to be replaced by posh galleries like White Cube, and swathes of digital hipsters. Oh, and hordes of out-of-town clubbers throwing up on the pavements at weekends. So a war on vomit might be an even better idea.

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